A query to the gentlemen.

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Well here it goes.

There is this guy that I like. I think we can hit it off. He talks about his dreams and desires with me… He said I am cool. He said I am a genuine friend.

In all honesty I thought I could be someone special in his life. After all, he said I was cool. After all he said I am a genuine friend. Then why is it that if we are with other people he keeps on flirting with other girls, even if it is a joke, but not with me? He makes innuendos with them, but with me it is some serious conversation – conversations about life and dreams and fears.

My delusions are saying maybe it is I that he really wants. He does not make a move because he likes me too. But who am I kidding.

Gentlemen who will read this, I am in the friendzone, am I?

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7 thoughts on “A query to the gentlemen.

  1. Yes, but it puts an end to the guessing.

    If you can’t bring yourself to ask, or to ask him out, you could go half way. You said he flirts with other girls but not with you–well, do YOU flirt with HIM? You could try a little of that and see what happens.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with Bor Bor Igmus. If you like him back too might be worth considering dropping hints here and there – like make him a cake or buy him a small present. Tell him you think he’s smart, a good person, funny – someone you respect or whatever it is you like about him. Something which is clear that you’re interested. I don’t think it hurts to try! And if after a while he doesn’t get it or isn’t sensitive enough to notice … well then it’s his lost, and you’ve nothing to regret because you have given it a shot. Indeed it takes a lot of courage! Whatever feels best for you. There’s no right or wrong way.

      Just remember that every individual is unique and it’s hard to discern what someone else is thinking, so probably best to ask the protagonist and not overthink it. He could very well be shy – some guys do the exact opposite to the girl they like (such as ignore her due to nerves, instead of show interest as would be expected), or, he could very well be sending a message by flirting with other girls that he is indeed not interested. For me personally, I’d be a bit hurt of the guy ignored me when he actually liked me. I’d expect a bit more maturity, that he’d be gutsy enough to show me through his actions or have a conversation with me about it. Properly ask me out. Old school style haha.

      Ultimately you’d want to be with someone who is emotionally mature, can effectively express their feelings and is relatively transparent about what they are looking for. I say avoid those who like to play hide and seek in the game of love…it appears that the happiest relationships are those that are relatively honest and straightforward.

      I have no idea what type of person he is – but those could be useful pointers in weighing whether someone (and yourself too!) is ready for a relationship.

      My two cents, hope it helps. Good luck! I hope you guys work it out!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for this very wise tips. I only logged today and just in time, these lovely words really spoke to me. I like what you said about being emotionally mature.

        Im too old to play games and it is just…. draining! But yes, I guess Ill never know if I dont ask. Goodness I am just going to find strength and courage first haha!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m really glad the comment came at a timely fashion and I hope you find the strength within you. That’s the awesome thing about blogging – a word or inspiration may come at a time of need. Time and time again posts have spoken to me in one way or another and showed me wisdom or experience I didn’t have. Good luck! Just remember you are beautiful, strong and worthy. Love comes from a healthy sense of self-love first =)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ok you guys, I heed your advice. I confessed and dropped the bomb. I wrote him everything. The bottomline is though, we are just friends. I did it last week. And at first I thought I was brave enough to face him. Seems like nothing has changed. But when the days go there is unspeakable hurt. What hurts the most is that he knows what I feel for him but he still flirts with others? God I am so stupid. Hahaha! But thanks to those who gave me the cOurage here. Seriously. I could never have done it without you.

    Like

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