If you want to get through life, start from the bottom all the way to the top. This is what triumph is. The view from the top is not that sweet when you take shortcuts.
Judging people has devastating effects. When my pride kicks in I create walls in order to not get to know the people I am jealous of. But if I am being truthful, it is because I am intimidated. I want to be them but I can’t. So they, in turn, become an unspoken enemy.
However, given the chance, they are completely different from the demon I created in my head. I am just insecure, and it is ugly and awful.
Turns out I am not as confident. Turns out that the courage of admitting whatever I feel will only be kept hidden, silent and thrown in the depths of my heart.
I thought I wanted to shout it out to the rooftops. I thought I wanted to shock you with the truth about whatever feelings I have for you. I thought I can risk the ridicule. I thought I can risk it all just to know that maybe you feel thesame way. But in the end, I can’t.
In the end, it turns out I’m a coward.
There are days when life hits you hard you just want to stay on the ground and never move. You look around and people go on with their lives while you are thinking “Stop please. Stay with me. Mourn with me.” But they don’t, because they also have to go their own ways.
I learned to take it step by step now. If I can’t run, walk. If I can’t walk, drag. Because staying in one place while everyone is moving is lonely. Because being left behind is never a good feeling.